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Tuesday, September 02, 2008
Show #2976
By Michael Z. McIntee Change Text Color:
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Nicolas Cage; Anna Torv; and Terrence Howard.
PLUS: Dave talks about Labor Day and McCain's Selection of Sarah Palin; a Top Ten list; and Andy Kindler at the Republican National Convention.

" . . . and now, a man who leaves viewers feeling cheated and unfulfilled . . . . . David Letterman!"

ACT 1:
The problem with returning to work after Labor Day is it always feels like a Monday when it is a Tuesday. Dave says it screws up his thinking all week. He'd prefer the Friday off instead of Monday. The only way to enjoy Labor Day is to he used to enjoy Labor Day was to start drinking early in the morning. If you wait too long into the day, you'll gander at the TV and wonder, "Why is Oprah on?" You need to be oblivious to life before Oprah comes on.

Lots happened over the weekend in politics and the Republican Party. He isn't quite sure McCain made the right decision in picking Sarah Palin as his running mate. "She didn't have a passport until two years ago. She's in her mid-forties and has never been out of the country!" This worries Dave.
And now we learn that Sarah Palin's 17-year-old daughter is pregnant. And now we're being told we can't talk about it. What? (Not talking about it may be why she got pregnant in the first place.) Wolf Blitzer says we can't talk about it. Barack Obama says it's a private matter. Of course, Barack can't help but be giddy about the revelation.

No one admires John McCain more than Dave. What Senator McCain went through as a POW and how he refused his release until his fellow POWs were also freed made him a true American hero. But . . . . does McCain really need this presidential campaign? Shouldn't he just retire and live off being a hero who served in the Senate for years? McCain's getting old . . . . 72 years old. He'll be the oldest President ever, if elected. And what will happen if the unspeakable happens . . . . McCain goes to sleep and doesn't wake up? Then what? "Now who's our President?" Paul offers, "Wooops!" Dave laughs and adds, "Right. It's Kitty from the Curl Up and Dye." Dave admits to now knowing enough about Sarah Palin to say if she would make a good President or not . . . . but he would like our President to at one point in his or her life to have had a five-minute talk about sex with her teenage kids. Dave concludes, "Abstinence is a great thing . . . I'm in year 5 . . . ."

ACT 2:
TOP TEN: Things You Don't Want To Hear On Your First Day of School
#7. "Algebra is over . . . . let's hit the showers."
#5. "So, your mom tells me you're a bed-wetter."
#3. "Grades will be based on how much you leave in my tip jar."

ANDY KINDLER: From the Republican National Convention at the Xcel Energy Center in St. Paul, Minnesota. Says Andy, incredulously, "This place is crawling with Republicans!" Earlier in the day, Andy attended a Young Republican Trickle Down Mixer. What's he think of McCain's selection of Alaska Governor Sarah Palin as his running mate? "It's clear John McCain is not big on vetting. He's a maverick!" I laughed when Andy exclaimed, "He's a maverick!" "Maverick" has been so overused these past few weeks. Andy shouted it as if he was the first to make that description. I think I'll borrow that and pretend it's mine.
What does Andy have for us tonight? It's something he calls, "Kindler's Komedy Kaper!" We find Andy outside a men's bathroom at the Energy Center and shouts inside, "Senator Craig, how are you enjoying the convention?"
Oh, that Andy! He'll be appearing at the Xcel Energy Center all week.

ACT 3:
During the commercial break, great job by Felicia and the band doing the Jackson 5's "I Want You Back."

NICOLAS CAGE: Nicolas has spent much of the summer in New Orleans shooting a film, The Bad Lieutenant. Nicolas is a great fan of the city of New Orleans, enjoying the great mix of music, culture, nightlife, food, and people. But what he really enjoys about the city is the gas lighting. And he owns a home in the French Quarter that is reported to be haunted. Some people have beach front property; he has ghost front property. Many times there will be paranormal followers who want to come inside and bring their video cameras, tape recorders, and Geiger counters in search of the spirits, but Nicolas has too much respect for the spooks and respects their right to privacy. His family and friends will come to visit, but for some reason they refuse to sleep over. They'd rather stay at a nearby hotel.
Nicolas is happy to report that the friends he's made in New Orleans all are safe and sound following Hurricane Gustav, much to his relief.
Much of Nicolas' new film, Bangkok Dangerous, was filmed in Thailand. He likes filming in exotic places but always has the fear that he may wake one morning and find that he's been abducted or be in the middle of a military coup. While shooting this film, he had to hurry his family out of the country when there was a report of incoming tanks. Nicolas then returned to finish the film and to enjoy the great Thai food and very polite people.
Bangkok Dangerous – opens Friday.

ACT 5:
ANNOUNCE: "Tomorrow on the Late Show; Dr. Phil; from the film "Burn After Reading" Tilda Swinton; and musician, Tricky. The Late Show, now available in almond meringue!
We'll be right back."

ACT 6:
ANNA TORV: The actress from the new FOX show, Fringe is here doing her first-ever talk show. She is equal parts nervous, excited, and terrified. Is she nervous speaking in public? She says she wasn't when she was younger but something happened early in life that traumatized her for years. She was to give a big speech at a drama festival. She had attended the National Institute of Dramatic Art" in Australia but had left before finishing. That's what her speech was going to be about. And just before going on stage, the woman running the event told her, "Don't mention that you aren't there anymore." She was then pushed out . . . and froze. She mumbled, "All the world's a stage" . . . . and then exited. Ever since, the stage has brought back memories of that day.
Anna recently moved from Australia to New York. She's been here for 6 weeks and is trying hard to become a New Yorker. She's been to all 5 boroughs, the IKEA in Brooklyn, but has not yet visited the Statue of Liberty. That's perfect, Anna. Real New Yorkers never get around to visiting the Statue of Liberty. They mean to, but they never actually get there.
What was it like growing up in Australia? She lived in a house that was surrounded by animals. Her family had geese and they would lay all these eggs and on the day they hatched, her mom would give them the day off from school. No real reason for it; just a simple celebration for "Hatching Day." She admits that when she wanted a day off, she would peck at some of the eggs that had just started to hatch to hurry them along. Today she feels a bit guilty for depriving the little geese a proper birth just to get a day off.
Anna is in the new FOX program, Fringe. Anticipation runs high for the premiere. It was created by the guy who made Lost. Anna plays an FBI agent called to investigate when an international flight lands in Boston with no signs of life on board. Hey, I've been on flights like that.
Fringe – premieres Tuesday, September 9th at 8:00 PM on FOX.

ACT 7:
TERRENCE HOWARD: Hey, he's the actor. From his debut CD, "Shine Through It," Terrence Howard performed "Love Makes You Beautiful."

And that was our show for Tuesday September 02, 2008.




Yeah, but 80% of Sarah Palin's kids are NOT pregnant! How come nobody ever talks about that?!

Ugh. Traffic . . . . . it's back. I had almost forgotten about the morning traffic. Summer's over; vacations are done; everybody is back to work. And that brings the traffic.
Before Denise and I had kids, we would take a week off in September and spend it at the beach. September is the best time to vacation at the beach. The weather is still hot, the water is still warm, and it is all yours.

Did you see John McCain and Sarah Palin in Missouri this weekend? McCain was talking about Sarah's husband, the "snow machine driver." Snow machine driver? Doesn't he mean "Snowmobile driver?" Twice McCain goofed and said "Snow machine driver"? But then I decided to Google "snow machine driver." I thought there might be a chance that McCain might know something I didn't. Woops. Seems up north a snowmobile is indeed known as a snow machine. I never knew that. I suspect many listening snickered when they heard the Senator from sunny Arizona refer to a snowmobile as a snow machine. I know I did. But 95% of those who giggled at McCain's "misspeak" still think he misspoke. (The other 5% read the Wahoo Gazette). Perhaps McCain, being in Missouri at the time, should have added between commas that up north a snowmobile is a called a "snow machine."

My brother and sister came to the show last week. While waiting on line to get into the Ed Sullivan Theater, they hear somebody yell, "Hey, there's Alan Kalter." Everyone looked and waved and called out his name. Moments later, somebody bellowed, "Hey, it's Pat Farmer!" Everyone looked and waved and called out his name. My brother decided to conduct an experiment. He called out, "Hey, there's Mike McIntee! . . . . . . . (nothing) . . . . . of the Wahoo Gazette! . . . . . . . . from the Late Show! . . . . . . . with David Letterman!" Nothing. Not the slightest bit of recognition from anybody on line. The, "Hey, there's Mike McIntee" got a lot of nuttin'. But that's OK, because I have a feeling this Wahoo Gazette thing is about to take off real soon! Yup. It's gonna be big! The Wahoo Gazette . . . you know, the Wahoo Gazette. . . . that thing on the Late Show website.

I'm very disappointed. Not once did I hear something from "The Happenings" on the radio this weekend.

And speaking of music; anybody watch any VH-1 Classic over the weekend. They had something called "80 of the 80s" or something like that. They featured 80 of the best music videos of the 1980s. Yeccch. What a horrid decade of music, style, and fashion. But kudos to the VH-1 staff for finding 80 videos. The research must have been dreadful.

The opinions expressed in the Wahoo Gazette do not represent the opinions of its writer.

CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
New York State Trooper from Chatham, New York, it's Debbie Campbell.
This concludes another episode of Cameo Mention of a Wahoo Reader

Michael Z. McIntee
mikemack@aol.com
ACT 1
• Show Open
• Dave's Monologue
 Watch now
• Desk Chat
ACT 2
• Top Ten Things You Don't Want To Hear On Your First Day of School
 Read now

• Andy Kindler at the Republican National Convention
ACT 3
• Nicolas Cage
 Watch now
ACT 4
• More with Nicolas Cage
ACT 5
• Audience Shot & Guest Plug
ACT 6
• Anna Torv
ACT 7
• Terrence Howard performs "Love Makes You Beautiful"
• Show Close

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